Terry's account of a night out and tournament in his homeland, with added waffling (and spelling corrections) from Taff

After being very kindly ferried to London by Gwen (ta!), We arrived at Susan's via my generally decent directions (bar not being able to read) to find everyone else quite drunk. Still, not to be put off, when I Rome...so I virtually necked two cans of finest Nelson.

After Jack's stripshow (for which Taff was "facing the wrong way") we were all dressed to impress and headed down to Beckenham town centre.

Here I did my best to bore everyone in earshot with my "when I was 18" stories. I expect I succeeded.

Arriving in the splendour of the local Weatherspoons, we soon left to pursue places with some kind of decent licence. Fortunately, there was an O'Neils with a 1 AM, as the thought of being in Langleys again quite scared me. After realising we have left Gwen behind (doh!), we wandered up to the pub.

After a short wait at the door, we were faced with a 3 deep bar, and a round tab closer to a score than a monkey. Several pints later, the place seemed better than its clientele did, which was not tricky. After a trip to the loo, Taff was sans sock, and proclaiming I was neither fat nor bald enough to be considered fair game for the bridal party. Hmmm. After searching for about 5 minutes for Josh, who was no-where to be found, we returned to find Gwen being leeched by a local. The round of applause was completely uncalled for, but funny anyway. Some needless bouncing on the shop floor later (double dose of The Quo I'll thank you!) we were outtathere. I was lucky that as I left, I also got harassed by a bridal party, and lost my sock. A score draw then?

Taff: No description of the night would be complete without a mention of the sweaty stubbly Chinese geezer grinding away at Rachel's backside during 'Jump Around'. This is what apparently passes for pulling in this part of the world (thanks Terry) but doesn't work too well on members of the law profession from the posh bit of Cardiff. With Rachel clinging on to various bloke members of the side in an effort to convince all present that she already had a boyf or three, the disgruntled chinese fella gave Terry a girly little shove-ette in the back and buggered off.

Terry again: After the short walk back to Susan's, Jack, Rob and I were hungry, and followed Susan's directions to where we were told there was a kebab house. There was not. So, after walking the entire length of the high street, we were still kebab less, and ended back at the pub we had just come from before we found one! Jack claimed confidently that this wouldn't have happened in Newport. Hard to disagree. So, after walking back, we had to do our best not to upset Susan's lovely parents. We agreed the best option was to sleep outside. Problem, the sleeping backs were inside. So, we very guiltily called Susan (sorry!) to get out of bed and let us in.

Once inside, the outside plan was still a good idea, but we simply could not get outside. Were was the key?

Then Gwen walked in. Not sure why Gwen was downstairs with the boys and Josh was upstairs with the girls, but hey, behind closed doors and all that.

After another cheeky nelson, we retired.

To be woken up by Susan soon after. Who being a saintly host offered us toast, chocolate spread and caffeine. Perfect.

So, onto that playing bit.

After an aerobie warm up, we faced the hosts, National League set up Trojans. Clearly, our hangovers and fatigue were to blame for our 2-9 loss, and the gulf in standard had nothing to do with it. Not at all. Still, not whitewashed - Rob netted with a long hanging effort and Rachel netted smartly off good work from Sian.

Cardiff 2   Rachel, Rob
   Trojans 9

With hang overs fading, we faced up to Kwiekfisher, a combination from two National League sides in Kent. Arguably our best showing of the day gave us a 2-4 win. Ian found the right setting on the radar to net a runner off Rachel, who then dropped in another from the post. The comeback to 2-2 was soon squashed, as Rob bagged from the spot after good work from Susan. City's running was a feature of this game, and another good surge from Rob caused a switch which Ian netted with aplomb. See, easy this Korfball lark.

As Invicta would show us.

Cardiff 4    Ian 2, Rachel, Rob
   KwiekFishers 2

Considering Invita are the NL champions and one of the better teams in Europe when they want to be, we did well to avoid double figures against. Taff and Susan claimed our pair against 9. Shame we allowed them to showboat, but a decent performance against what is the benchmark all the same.

Our win gave us third in the group and the chance to flex some muscles in the afternoon against some parallel opposition.

Cardiff 2    Susan, Taff
   Invicta 9

Lunchtime was meat in Sian's box, and the conclusion that the club nickname that best described us was "thrust". I personally preferred the Cardiff Blue-tits, for the comedy value of the chant, "come on the tits".

Back to the playing front and a sterling victory over Cambridge City. Rob claimed another wind assisted long shot, and Susan calmly netted from close to give us a 0-2 lead. Some great defence (Gwen showing some rugby skills with two fine 40 metre marks) work would only allow one back and a well-deserved result.

Cardiff 2    Susan, Rob
   Cambridge City 1

The afternoon was spoilt by a return leg against the hosts, but this time, with morning blues gone, we managed a much better result going down 1-3. Sian netting from range.

Cardiff 1    Sian
   Trojans 3

Taff: City saved the best till last with an emphatic display against (finally) a non-national league side, Littleport. The Cambridgeshire outfit were clearly rotating their squad as a couple of youngsters took to the field and deservedly handed their side an early two goal cushion. With Taff making no use whatsoever of an apparent height advantage it was left to Lee to make the first bit of space and offload to Josh who gratefully dispatched the first of his four improvised underarm efforts. The best of these came while running at full pelt and catching a pass that came over his head from inside the other half. Sandwiched between these were two more unconventional efforts from Taff and Susan rounded off the day with a boring normal running in shot seconds before the final whistle. A 7 goal run apparently being enough to take us to the heady heights of tenth - god knows how.

Cardiff 7    Josh 4, Taff 2, Susan
   Littleport 2

In a day with difficult conditions (wind and lots of it) to finish 10th was a very pleasing performance. Good displays from everyone against some far superior opposition at times should give us a lot of heart. Defensively we were strong, and the attack showed much more fluidity and improved ball handling. Cardiff City no longer go to events like this expecting the bottom places, we look for and get the mid table. That's called improvement. Good stuff all round.

Also, a big thanks to the demi-team from Bristol Uni for giving our blokes some extra court time. We like Bristol Uni.

Lastly of course, huge thanks to Susan's mum and dad for not only putting up with an invasion of reprobates who think 3am is a perfectly normal time to be banging the front door down with a kebab in hand, but even turned up to cheer us on in the afternoon!

We WILL get Terry to smile on one of these dammit!!!

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