more of Josh's musings

Some people might think that korfball is not the most modern and trendsetting of sports. Maybe a little traditional and old-fashioned, what with its post-match cheering of the opposition and its emphasis on the team over the individual. Perhaps we should move with the times and imitate some more famous sports. Video replays is probably not feasible, while handing out huge cartoon hands to spectators is probably not desirable. But a cursory examination should tell us that you can't have a major sporting event these days without music. Obviously preceding every game with a medley of Song 2, We Are The Champions and DJ Otzi would be cool and innovative and doubtless would prove a big hit with the youth demographic (it would show we were "down with the kids" in the language of the "street") but surely we could go even further. Just as 20 over cricket is immeasurably improved by hearing a snippet of Another One Bites The Dust each time a wicket falls, surely each korf scored should be celebrated with a burst of song. Better still, the music could be individual to each player.

Some names are easy. A goal scored by Jack could be greeted with Jumping Jack Flash by the Stones, or possibly Jacky by Scott Walker. There are all sorts of possibilities for James, My name is James by Randy Newman or Sweet Baby James by James Taylor possibly. However, I think we'll struggle to better Eddie Cochran's Skinny Jim. Can you imagine anything more appropriate than him landing yet another long shot, before being greeted with "Yes, Yes, Yes, all the girls love him, Skinny Jim"?

Other names are more problematic. Dave isn't a particularly rock'n'roll sounding name, yet we've got to find two different songs. Somehow I'm not sure that Downloading Porn With Davo by the Moldy Peaches is going to find much favour. Randy Newman's Davy The Fat Boy still less. Tom Waits' song Dave the Butcher might be a bit better, "he absolutely carved up the defence with that run" a commentator might say. As an instrumental though, maybe not what we want.

What else have we got? Wake Up Little Susie could work, though it's probably better for when Susie's been caught out for a running in shot than for celebrating a goal. As for Susan, there's not much out there, Pulp's Inside Susan isn't really suitable - though if she settled for Suzanne, then Lou Reed, Leonard Cohen and Dandy Livingstone could all be used.

Other players names are featured in my record collection. I don't think Abi has any particular connection to Ireland, but that's no reason not to use Abigail, Belle of Kilronan by the Magnetic Fields. It's well-nigh impossible to see a korfball reference in the lyrics to Bonnie "Prince" Billy's Just To See My Holly Home, but who cares? That said, I think it's probably asking a little much of Harry to split up with Celia and start dating someone called Isabel just so we can use Harry and Isabel by that noted folk singer, Bob Cockburn.

Other than that, I'm struggling. Welsh names don't seem to be that popular in rock, so nothing for Ceri, Sian or Gwen. Loads of songs about people called John, but not so many about Ian's, Rob's, Lee's, Aidan's or Terry's. No sign of Elaine, Kay, Becky, Cally or Rachel. Not particularly surprised not to find one for Midge, though I guess we could always go with U2 and The Fly in extremis. But I've only gone through my records. Surely amongst the CDs of the rest of the club people can find something appropriate for each player?

Oh yeah, and while you're looking, on the off-chance that I actually score, it'd be nice to be greeted with something a bit more modern than a rendition of how I won the battle of Jericho!

     Copyright © 2002 Cardiff City Korfball Club. All Rights Reserved.